Sometimes I can't be bothered to pick up a piece of rubbish so I leave it and claim that I'm conducting a social experiment to see how long it stays there before somebody else picks it up #lazy
I've been known to say that I am putting the laundry away when in fact I am hiding in my room watching Youtube or catching up on some reality tv #hiding
I'll buy treats when I go shopping and then hide to scoff a chocolate bar or share size bag of crisps whilst palming the children off with a piece of fruit #secreteater
Sometimes in the middle of the night I pretend to be asleep when the little one wakes up and needs to go to the toilet so that Big Sam will get up and do the honours #naughty
When the kids are being particularly annoying I wait until they turn their backs and then pull faces and poke my tongue out at them #mature
Sometimes I'll announce that I need to poo to deter anyone from following me to the toilet where I will in fact no go a poo but scroll through my phone for 10 minutes in peace #sneaky
Sometimes I make plans with people or for the kids to have friends for a sleepover then if they cancel I'm secretly happy that I no longer have to leave the house or entertain guests #antisocial
When the kids start telling me about a new programme or toy and I'm knackered I'll often be heard using the words 'wow' 'amazing' 'that's good' or similar to feign interest #sly
I'll pretending that I'm treating everyone to a takeaway for dinner when the truth is I just can't be a*sed to cook #topchef
Days that I feel super tired or my back is playing up then I fore go mopping the floor in favour of just cleaning the dirty patches with a baby wipe #wipesforlife
Have you got any dirty mum secrets?
Emma xoxo
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